There's something about that first friend you make
in a new place. My best friend in college, Vanessa, was the
very first person I met on campus. My best friend at work, Adrienne,
was the very first person I met at the high school where I teach (granted, she
WAS my cooperating teacher, but you see my point). And I have the urge to
tell you about another "first friend"... my dear Lauren, my best
friend from Governor's School East 2002.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the
concept, North Carolina Governor's School is a summer program for
rising high school juniors and seniors designed to offer a unique, challenging
experience in various academic and artistic areas. At the time we attended, 200 NC high school
students converged on the Meredith College campus to embark upon a six-week
adventure. In the hottest days of the
year, we lived together, laughed & cried together, learned and grew, created
and dreamed together. To this day, I
still marvel at the explosion of new ideas, philosophical and religious
discussions, and more than our fair share of supervised teenage debauchery
(think fully-clothed Crisco wrestling on the quad; I swear, the only thing we
were high on was life).
I met Lauren on the first day of GSE because I
chose to wear a tank top that said, “Dancer” in big bold red letters, and she
approached me on this basis since she was there for the same program. We were instantly friends. Looking back, I see now that our spirits
immediately recognized one another, destined as they were to join in mutual
understanding, love, and friendship. There’s
a quotation attributed to Aristotle that says, “A true friend is a single soul
dwelling in two bodies.” That summer and
in the two years that followed, it certainly felt that way with the two of us.
During Governor’s School, we got to know one
another through our dance classes, while hanging out with our big group of
friends in the caf and on the quad, and by sharing our massive journals of
poetry. After GSE, we mailed one another
“care packages” of poems, letters, stationary, and drawings. We phoned frequently (this was before dime-a-dozen
cell phones and unlimited data packages), and visited as often as possible. We attended one another’s dance recitals and
birthday parties, and spent hours lamenting over boy drama, the pressures of
school, and how to transition from being a good-Christian-high-school-girl to
being a college-woman-of-God.
One of my favorite memories of Lauren was when we
went with my mom to visit UNC Greensboro. It was September of my senior year of
high school (Lauren was a junior), and I knew I wanted to attend UNCG to major
in Dance and English Education. Mama was
working on her Masters in Nursing, so we got to tag along to tour the campus on
our own while Mama went to her classes.
It was such a wonderful day. We took a tour of the Dance building (from
that situation I learned to be assertive because Lauren was the one who ended
up going in the office to ask for a tour), walked around and looked at the
gorgeous old dorms on College Avenue, ate lunch in the EUC (we were entirely
impressed that we could eat Chick-fil-A at school), bought new journals in the
book store, and sat quietly writing and reflecting as it rained and we watched
students pass by outside of the big glass windows. It was a day that not only solidified for me
my choice of university, but it also reaffirmed that I’d taken on the right
kindred friend the summer before.
I made SO many friends in the summer of ’02, but after ten years, she’s the
one that has truly stuck. In the last
five or six years, we’ve had our time periods when we lost touch for a while (she
has a tendency toward long-term international travel that makes phone calls
difficult :-P), but we always seem to find our way back together. We currently have a scheduled phone call
every two weeks in which we catch up on current happenings, especially those
things in our lives that show God’s divine orchestration. I’m so impressed with her online business,
Atoning Yoga, and I’m always proud of and happy about the Godly
marriage she has with her husband, Kevin. (I like to think that I’m responsible
for them getting together. She was
working concessions with me at an NC State basketball game when they were
freshmen, and he came by to visit her.
He was shy, but obviously smitten with her. Lauren wasn’t quite sure about him yet, but I
gave her a swift elbow to the ribs and a look that said, “Girl! Get on THAT!” They started dating shortly thereafter. You can see where I feel responsible, though
I’m probably the only one who thinks of their relationship in these terms. :-D )
Lauren has been one of the most creatively
stimulating friends I’ve ever had. The
flurry of poems we once mailed back and forth would be evidence alone. In addition, though, there’s the recent dance
piece I choreographed on six students at an open dance clinic held for four
days in June. “That Place, That Time”
was an exploration of remembering a specific day, time, or event which we
(myself and each dancer) remember fondly.
My thoughts centered around that day with Lauren at UNCG. And to round
out this episode of Kindred Friends, I’ll leave you with the latest poem
inspired by this dear heart for whom I thank our most loving and benevolent God.
I still think of you so often, Dear Heart.
Any time Lauren’s Theory of Wind-and-Lipgloss is proven,
Or when I hear John Mayer, and any time I recognize a moment of
“Comfortable silence."
You and I could once sit together
For hours
Just writing
Just enjoying
Just being...
Kindred friends.
Remember that duet we created that summer?
That contemporary piece
That started out with just
a breath?
That was our cue.
A breath, and a prayer.
And then we were entwined,
Supporting and being supported,
Discovering and exploring
The counterbalance of our friendship.
There was the beige soft texture of our costumes
Wrapping us in neutral femininity.
There was the shadowy lighting illuminating
Our forms, our connections
with the other souls on stage.
It would seem, Dear Heart,
That our ten-year friendship
Has been such:
A flowing dance, cued by a prayer,
Characterized by supporting
and being supported,
All the while enhancing our connections with the
Souls around us in our own
Separate lives.
Would that the world saw more friendships
Such as this,
Less would be the loneliness of humanity.
KM, July 5, 2012
