Many girls have that "best guy friend from home" that seems to have always been there. You know the one. He's the brother of one of your childhood girl friends, he dated your best friend, and he's the one you call when you need advice about guys FROM a guy, but without having to call your own brother (because you might not necessarily want to let your own brother in on the specific details of your dating-life). Wait, you don't have one of those?? I feel sorry for you... 'cause I do.
James and I went to elementary school together. Well, it was Kindergarten through third grade if you want to get technical, but I'm not splitting hairs here. When we were five years old and in Mrs. Smith's class together, I spent all of my time with Angela, the prettiest girl in the class, and Jessica, James' twin sister. In first grade, James and I (along with another girl, Jo) gave a show-and-tell to our class about our different asthma medications. I think that might've been the first time that I felt a kindred connection with James. He understood that whole not being able to breathe thing that I've always dealt with, so I was excited about that.
At some point during those next two years, I proceeded to develop a completely healthy elementary school crush on James. He was one of only two boys that my little group of gal-pals hung out with, and I had already had a crush on the other one from Kindergarten through first grade. By the time third grade rolled around, we were in the thick of being members of Armstrong's Army... our brilliant third-grade teacher had this fabulous way of bringing us together and literally keeping us in line. We marched out to recess, stood in line for "inspection," and sang army-like chants on our way to lunch. We ate it up. (This actually has nothing to do with reminiscing about James, but when I think of third grade, I think of three things: (1) the moment I'm about to tell you about that I had with him; (2) playing the supporting lead in the class play we produced entitled Fidelia about a young Hispanic girl who learns to play the violin, in which I played the encouraging music teacher [my love of teaching must've started young]; and (3) Armstrong's Army... I still remember her has being one of the prettiest, sweetest, most motivational teachers ever.)
So this pivotal third grade moment with James happened when we were lining up for lunch one day. Let me preface the story by saying that I was a precocious crusher. From a young age, I was truly destined to be boy crazy, because I was told every day of my life by both of my parents - but especially my daddy - how beautiful I was, and I watched all the Disney movies that have princesses ending up with princes over and and over and over. Girls are supposed to swoon over boys. People are supposed to couple off. You have to, in order to get to the happily ever after, right? Well, in my eight-year-old mind, I wasn't going to waste any time. Thus, it was only natural that I should be in love with the boy that stood on the fringes of our circle, even if our only true connections were his sister, and our shared inability to process oxygen properly.
As we lined up in the classroom, I whispered (probably in a stage whisper, now that I think about it) to my then BFF, Heather, that I had a crush. This was big news. A new crush meant new gossip. And we severely needed a distraction from the headaches we had just developed over learning our multiplication tables (math is HARD!). So Heather was properly enthused, and she played her role perfectly. She giggled and tittered just enough to pique the curiosity of Angela, Jo, and Jessica (James' twin). Pretty soon, word spread through the lunch line, and word reached James. Being an eight-year-old boy, he was properly grossed out at the fact that a girl liked him, particularly at the fact that it was KATIE who liked him. (I haven't yet mentioned the fact that I was in the LOWER end of the "in" crowd for most of my childhood. I was a little awkward, I loved wearing hats with dresses to school on picture day, and my lisp didn't help me out much, either...) As this was my first true venture into the dating world, I didn't know the social cues that indicated that I should back off. Instead of being crushed by his rebuff, I simply threw up the ASL sign for "I love you" which we had just recently learned. James, bless him, showed more of the proper eight-year-old disgust, and we soon departed for lunch, marching off down the hallway with the illustrious Mrs. Armstrong leading the way.
My crush on James didn't last too much longer after that, mostly because the school year came to a close. I think the reason it comes to mind as I reflect on the years I've known him is because I realize now that he is the first boy to whom I said, "I love you," even if it WAS in American Sign Language. I changed schools in fourth grade, and then we went to different middle schools. James and I reunited in ninth grade geometry class (a class in which he did VERY little talking), but we didn't truly become friends again, I would say, until tenth or eleventh grade. During our senior year, and the subsequent summer, we spent GOBS of time together, and when I think of those times with him, I think of some of the happiest days of my life. We laughed at the good ol' days of Armstrong's Army, and we stood in awe of the fact that we'd grown up so very fast and that we were about to head off to college. One day, while heading back from the cafeteria during our lunch period, I jumped in a giant rain puddle and soaked us both all the way up to our waists. I laughed until my stomach hurt, but James was outraged: "NOW WE'RE GOING TO BE WET ALL DAY!!" I just laughed harder and said something to the effect of, "So what! It's just water. Relax a little..." In my yearbook a few months later he wrote, "Thanks for teaching me how to play in the rain."
We're true, full-blooded adults now. James owns a house, and we both have fabulous careers. We've both had substantial relationships that we sought one another's advice about, and we call every few weeks to leave messages for "My Katie!!!" and "My James!!!" We talk about how good God has been to give us a friendship like this that lasts.
He once told me that when we were little, I was like Topanga from Boy Meets World... I was the strange, eccentric one who always went my own way despite what others thought, and he admired me for that. In a way, I always thought of him as my Corey, the boy I grew up with. I know, I know what you're thinking.... sounds like there's deep hidden romantic feelings, right? But it's not that way. It's so much more, so much different than that. He's one of the very few friends in my life that has never let me down. And I'm so very, very grateful to God to call him one of my Kindred Friends.
KMc
No comments:
Post a Comment